Clowning Around
by agrainne24
Summary: When SG1 are asked to go undercover to find a Goa'uld hiding out on Earth, it's not quite the mission they had in mind. What kind of bad guy hangs out at the circus, anyway?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for wackyjacqs because every girl likes to see Jack O'Neill in a uniform whether it be in dress blues or not, right? :)**

"For cryin' out loud! You want us to do what, Sir?!"

"I know it is a ridiculous plan, Colonel but you know as well as I that every possible case of a Goa'uld invasion of any kind on Earth must be investigated no matter how it sounds."

Major General George Hammond was losing patience with his second in command. He knew it was a ridiculous plan but he needed his 2IC to take what he said and run with it for once! He was getting pressure from Washington to show more results and as of yesterday, there would be an internal audit at Stargate Command. Not that he mentioned this piece of wonderful news to the irascible colonel just yet and wasn't relishing it either. Jack O'Neill may well blow the proverbial gasket! So this 'mission' may be the perfect opportunity to show the suits in Washington just how effective his first team was out in the field.

"But Sir, undercover at a circus?! Really? Thinking about it though, T would fit right in! Not as a clown, no, he'd scare the children, we've only just taught him to smile! Maybe as an animal trainer? Danny boy can be the clown!"

"Hey! What makes you think you won't be the clown, Jack? You're perfect for the job seen as you act like a child most days anyway."

Sam couldn't help the giggle that escaped her as she pictured the colonel in full clown regalia -red nose included!

Jack swung around to look at his 2IC. "Oh laugh now, Carter. I guarantee you won't be laughing very soon!"

Sam paled. They were never going to make her dress up again, were they? Every time. How was it that every time they went on a mission to some weird planet with archaic rules she was the one to suffer with that world's traditions? Only this time it was here on Earth and she'd only just sworn to herself after the incident with the Shavadai she would never complain about sexism on Earth again! Now she was about to step into a situation where it certainly was 'a man's world.' She just would have to bite her tongue, nod and smile if it indeed came down to that. She had a suspicion it would.

"SG1, you have a go. You leave in one hour."

Walking down the corridor to the locker room Sam mentally prepared herself for the upcoming mission. Shaking her head as she got to the locker room door. She broke out of her reverie and her head shot up at the sound of shuffling feet near her locker. She caught the looks of guilt on all three of her teammates faces.

"What?"

Sam looked between all three of them and settled her gaze on her Commanding Officer with a raised eyebrow.

Jack was fidgetty. He'd seen what was awaiting Carter in her locker and knew she wouldn't be best pleased. But he would when he'd see her in it! He gave a low whistle. Yep. He'd be a happy camper. Every male within a 5 mile radius t would be tonight by his reckoning! Uh oh Carter was looking at him strangely better think of an answer quick!

"Sir?"

"Nothin' Carter. Just organising pick up for later. Danny's driving. See you in an hour!"

Jack exited the locker room like his feet were on fire. How was he going to concentrate on the job later if Carter was going to be looking like...well...Carter?! Oy! The things he must endure for his country! Still it was better than nothing. Maybe one day he'd bless the child who called that clown at the circus, "that funny looking man with the glowing eyes." But not today. Today he had a job to do. A job with distractions. And those distractions happened to be in the form of his blue-eyed second in command. Oy!

Sam was left staring after the colonel as he left the room. She looked to Daniel for and explanation.

"Don't look at me, Sam." Daniel shrugged his shoulders while failing to hide a smirk.

Teal'c just raised an eyebrow in confusion and asked as they exited the locker room, "What is a circus, Daniel Jackson?"

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sam Carter looked in the mirror one final time and drew in a deep breath to steady her nerves. Though what she had to be nervous of she wasn't entirely sure; it may have hadsomething to do with a certain brown eyed Colonel but Sam quickly brushed that notion aside and told herself she just didn't feel comfortable this dress. It was a gorgeous dress, midnight blue in colour and it clung in all the right places and it made her skittish. It was entirely inappropriate to wear in front of her team. She, however, reminded herself that it was part and parcel of her current 'mission' and she'd just have to suck it up like the good little soldier she was.

Blowing out another breath, she stepped out of her trailer and came face to face with the nearly let her jaw drop in shock but she caught herself in time. He looked good. He looked really good. Red was definitely a good colour on him!

Earlier in the day they had separated into two groups as was usual when doing simple recon in an area previously unknown to them. Finding nothing of note in the initial sweep, Jack had to be satisfied with the fact that this 'job' may be of some duration. It had been more than a little awkward explaining to the Ringmaster and his wife that he and his team were going incognito at the circus for a few days in order to catch 'a really bad guy' - his words, not the official line. Now the job had gotten a whole lot more complicated as it looked as though this Goa'uld had infiltrated the circus deeper than was first imagined. And so to make their job more believable - Jack still couldn't get his head around this part - he and Carter must act as a husband and wife team, i.e the Ringmaster and his wife. The trouble with this part of the plan, for Jack anyway, acting the part of the husband may come too easy with Carter involved and in that lay a whole set of other problems!

_While Jack was being distracted by thoughts of Carter, when was he not distracted by her? Dressed to kill in that dress, who wouldn't be distracted?!_ **- **a bunch of kids were crowding around the arena watching him practice juggling. Laughter that was music to his ears floated over from the other side of the arena. Knowing that it was Carter, Jack gave her a quick smile and focused his attention back on the kids. In amongst them, Jack glimpsed a young boy in a Cubs cap and it triggered a memory of a time not long before Charlie got hold of his gun and accidentally shot himself.

_"But Dad you promised you'd take me to see the circus! There'll be clowns and acrobats and tigers and everything!"_

_"I can't tonight, buddy. Dad's been called into work. Next time, ok?"_

_"You say that every time."_

Jack closed his eyes in remembrance of Charlie's disappointed face. It had always been the case. Jack would promise to take Charlie to something or to be somewhere and then suddenly work would intervene. Poor Charlie never knew any different. Jack felt anew the hurt and anger at not being able to show his kid a life different than the one he was accustomed to - that of an absentee father. If Jack happened to glance at his 2IC in that moment and see a lone tear escape down her cheek in silent sympathy, he never let on. What was past was in the past and there was nothing he could do to change anything no matter how hard he prayed it was the case. So instead, Jack decided to amuse the bored looking little boy in the Cubs cap by accidentally-on-purpose juggle tomatoes instead of balls! The fact that this garnered a laugh from both the kid and Carter was an added bonus!

Unbeknownst to them they had another captive audience in the wings. This member of the circus watched the display with narrowed eyes. He was going to be more covert in order to avoid detection among these humans. These two were especially alert and watchful. Yes, he would have to watch his step as he completed his mission for his master.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Roll up, roll up!"

"Carter! Do I really need to say this ridiculous line over and over?"

Jack frantically whispered to Sam as she stood beside him ready for a new show to begin. It was their tenth as a 'couple'. He wasn't fooling her though as she could tell from the sudden gleam in his eye that he was loving every second of this experience, indeed once he had gotten over his curmudgeon attitude he'd taken to circus life like a duck to water. Sam even suspected he liked wearing the ringmaster's red coat and she must admit, blushingly, it became him _very _well. He'd even tried a few jokes on Daniel, more like tortured him really. Sam smiled as she remembered that particular evening last week as the team had gathered for a get-together at Jack's (she really _must _stop thinking of the colonel as such) place to go over the plan for the following week and at the end of the evening, naturally, they were having a few drinks by the fire.

"_What did the fish say when he crashed into the wall?"_

"_Ah no Jack, enough with these silly jokes please!"_

"_Answer the question, Space monkey. Do you want to spoil it for the kids?"_

"_I hate to be the one to break it to you, Jack but there are no kids here."_

"_That's where you're wrong, Danny boy. Carter and Teal'c are just big kids at heart, aren't you guys?"_

_Sam and Teal'c watched their teammates banter, exchanging fond glances and resisting the urge to roll their eyes. This could go on for quite a while._

"_Oh for cryin' out loud, tell me so Jack! What did the fish say?"_

_The first part of Daniel's retort earned him a raised eyebrow from all three of his teammates at the familiarity of his phrase._

"_Dam!"_

_Sam snorted. She actually snorted. It was so unladylike but she couldn't help it. Daniel looked as if he was going to have an apoplexy and Jack looked as pleased as Punch._

"_I'm serious, Jack. Are you going to tell me the answer?"_

"_I just did."_

"_What?"_

"_Tell you the answer."_

"_JACK."_

"_Daniel."_

"_JACK!"_

"_DAN…"_

"_Alright you two! Daniel must you always rise to the colonel's bait?"_

"_I don't know how you find that funny!"_

"_I found it funny on two levels, Daniel. Firstly, because you rise to the bait EVERY TIME and secondly the simplest jokes are the best."_

"_I still don't…"_

"_I got another one for you if…"_

"_NO!"_

"_Alright, alright I hear you! No more jokes but you are missing out, just so you know. This one was a doozy!"_

ooOoo

"I don't mind telling you, Carter. I'm beat."

Jack flopped himself down on 'their' bed in their trailer. After almost two weeks of sharing the same space as the colonel it wasn't getting any easier to swallow the feelings that threatened to come to the surface as she watched him rest. Sam was frightened at how quickly they'd adapted to the 'husband and wife' routine. There were a few moments when she was tempted to ask him if he felt the same but she quickly realised that would be a loaded question and one that neither was ready to answer just yet. This, whatever _this _was, was still new in relative terms. They'd only known each other a year or so and yet in that year they'd grown closer than most families do in a lifetime.

"Me too, sir," Sam called over her shoulder as she entered the bathroom to change.

"Will ya quit that, Carter?"

"Quit what, sir?" Sam stuck her head out of the bathroom door not caring that she still had her toothbrush stuck in her mouth.

"Calling me sir. Especially since we're alone and 'man and wife'."

"Fine, _Jack, _as long as you call me something other than Carter." Sam smirked at the frozen look on the colonel's face as she returned his friendly banter quip for quip.

"Oh touché, _Samantha." _This time it was Jack's turn to smirk at Sam's 'deer caught in the headlights' look. It was very endearing.

Sam's heart skipped a beat. No one called her Samantha except her father because she wasn't fond of the name but when the colonel said it, to her surprise, she found she liked it very well, very well indeed. Coughing a little to mask her surprise, Sam motioned to Jack to move over so she could climb into bed. Sam smiled as Jack opened one eye, smiled and bid her goodnight.

"Goodnight, si…um…Jack."

Old habits die hard.

ooOoo

The next morning Jack decided to rustle them up some breakfast and quietly left the trailer leaving Sam sleeping peacefully in bed. He froze mid-stride as he sensed he was being watched. Scanning the nearby trees he didn't see anything unusual but he made a note to tell T and Daniel to check the perimeter again and to tell Carter to have her 'Spidey – Goa'uld senses' at the ready. It would be show time soon if Jack's instincts were correct and his instincts had never led him astray yet. He looked at his watch, if the feeling still prevailed in a couple of hours, he'd call the General and request extra time for this 'mission'. A few more days wouldn't hurt and it was better to be safe than sorry especially where those 'snakes' were concerned!

"Rise and shine, Sam! Breakfast is served." Jack heard Sam mumble something suspiciously like "five more minutes" before she rolled over. Jack smirked, time to have a little fun!

"UP AND AT 'EM, CARTER!" Jack none too kindly shouted near Sam's ear, jumping out of her way as she sprang up and to attention.

"Now see that's much better!"

"Jack! That was mean."

"Wouldn't want your bacon and eggs to go cold now, would we?"

"Smart ass!"

"Ack Carter! Is that any way to treat your CO after he went to the trouble of fetching you breakfast?"

Sam looked sheepish as she answered, "sorry, sir."

"Ah I was just teasing you Sam, at ease!"

"Good because I have no qualms in doing this then!" Sam smiled as she playfully punched Jack in the arm.

"Ouch I'm wounded!"

"Shall I have the General ship Janet out here to have a look at you?"

"Oh funny, Sam! No, I think I can survive not having to endure one of the Napoleonic power monger's once overs, thank you very much!"

"Suit yourself", Sam replied as she took a bite of her bacon. "Did you by any chance grab some coffee while you were out there?"

"I'm not so sure you deserve this after all the back chat you've just given me!" Jack grinned at Sam as he handed her a mug of steaming hot coffee.

"Mmmm…that is heaven in a mug!"

"Well savour it, Sam as I'm not sure when you'll be able to grab another," Jack told her as he explained what had happened to him outside.

ooOoo

"I did not see any evidence of a Goa'uld presence in the surrounding area, O'Neill. I would suggest you tell General Hammond of your findings, he may wish us to investigate further."

"Thanks T, I agree. I'll call the General in a few minutes once Carter and Daniel get back."

Teal'c inclined his head in agreement and maintained his silence until their teammates returned.

"Did you find anything of interest, Daniel Jackson?"

"No, Teal'c, nothing."

"How about you, Carter? Anything?"

"Apart from the feeling of being watched, nothing sir."

"Ok then campers prepare for more time at the circus! I'll go call the General now."

ooOoo

"What's your status, colonel?"

Jack brought the general up to date on their findings or lack thereof and at the end of their phone call he told him that it would be in their best interests to stay on at the circus a few more days just to be sure.

"Request permission to extend our visit to the circus, General?"

"You got it son. And colonel? God speed!"

ooOoo

From the tree line Malik observed the four team members with interest. He had gotten close enough to the one they called Samantha to sense that she once carried a symbiote. This will please his master. She was perfect for his master's plan. She had all the qualities his master prized, beauty, wit and most importantly intelligence. Yes, she was perfect. Now, how was he to get her alone away from her mate and her friends? He would just have to bide his time until the perfect opportunity arose.

TBC

**A/N: Thank you to everyone for their reviews, favourites and follows! It means a lot that you are enjoying this story! I am sorry I took so long to post this chapter, I promise the wait won't be as long next time! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter :)**


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